Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Getting Their Pants In A Bunch

This hilarious "Pants Pass" is from Simcha Fisher's funny blog, "I Have To Sit Down". Just make sure to cross your legs when you do, Simcha, or your husband might revoke yours.

I've been pretty lazy of late, deciding to skip writing and start reading a whole bunch of other people's blogs. I pretend it's "research", but actually, it's an excuse to not write anything here.

So anyway, by way of Mark Shea's blog, "Catholic & Enjoying It"(which has been FAR's 'Blog of the Week'), I stumbled upon "I Have To Sit Down" a blog by Simcha Fisher. She wrote a hilarious response to an odd CatholiCity piece on women wearing pants. Okay, if you're confused, sorry. It's like this: Me>Mark>Simcha>CatholiCity. But by ">", I am not saying I am greater than Mark or the others. Well, maybe just that odd CatholiCity piece.

But anyway, let's go to the anti-pant diatribe, which of course, was written by a man:

"...Ladies, please, discard your pants. Instead, consider wearing comfortable skirts or dresses whenever possible, which means, in practice, in pretty much every normal daily circumstance. Consider the following:

1.Regardless of your size, shape, or age, the attractiveness of your female figure is virtually always enhanced, while adding to your modesty, when you wear a dress.

2. Do this for us, the minority of chaste men who merit the gift of enjoying your beauty in such a way as to be grateful to your creator without temptation. Make it so it is good for men to look upon you, rather than requiring us to look away (which is a tragedy).

3. The godless, sexed-up, secular fashion industry is out to make money and convince you that vice is virtue. They, and their damned pants, accentuate your flaws. If you think the fashion industry is about beauty, I have two words for you: The Seventies.

4. Sadly, and we understand you may not be aware of this, but almost every style of pants reveals private information about your figure (by way of contour) what only your husband (and if not him, no man, including your sons, if you have sons) should perceive.

5. Thus, even a woman endowed with the most spectacular genetic form, in the bloom of her youth, can be given the illusion of ugliness, if not cheapness, by wearing pants. Likewise, pants rarely do anything but exaggerate extra volume on our figures."

Quick, quick! Which one is the sinner, which one the saint? What's that? Both? Yeah, these outfits ARE sins against Fashion, aren't they...

Sadly, the list actually goes on, and you can go ahead and read it all by clicking here.

My honest to God first thought was, "Wait, there are Catholics who are against women wearing pants???" As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I was raised Pentecostal, specifically Apostolic, and pants were fashion non grata growing up. Although in my girl mind I could see how skirts could be more tempting to guys, to the Preachers of Pantless Purity, they were straight out of Evil's closet. The Devil wears prada, and Jezebels wore pants.

Hearing that repeatedly for 17 years (all the while still wearing pants- my parents weren't knickers nazis) resulted in a once girly-girl turning into a near pants only... girly-girl. I still had a few skirts I dragged out for church during college, but they were mainly left-overs from high school. It took until my junior year before I relented and brought a couple of denim skirts.

A happy medium? Uh, I hope not. I'm a moderate on most things, but not about these hideous pants...um, skirt...er, getup.

Which is why I find it so interesting whenever people, especially dudes, try to go all anti-pantsie on women and are shocked (!) that only a tiny few will agree with them. Keep up the rhetoric, boys, and you'll only see chicks in cargos, khakis and capris.

I also find it interesting that it's not just the Holy Rollers with the clothing issues, but also those who bow their knee to the Holy See. Which is making me curious- does anyone else have clothing prohibitors in their churches or places of worship? I know that the burka and hijab is hotly debated amongst Muslims. Does any FAR readers have a story to share of their own?

As usual, comments are welcome (look people, two comments, one from Don and one from me is sad... COMMENT, dagnabit!). Thank you.


Carlos said...

Honestly no matter what a woman wears the way she is looked upon by men (or woman) will always depend on the one looking at her. As humans we have lust in our hearts and I know for a fact that an article of clothing is not going to change that. By showing less "figure" all your going to do is make me wonder more and increase the feeling of lust.

Alisha De Freitas said...

"Honestly no matter what a woman wears the way she is looked upon by men (or woman) will always depend on the one looking at her."

Awesome point. I think the guys demanding Louisa May Alcott-style dresses reveal they have way too much of a fixation on the female form. I believe I dress pretty modestly, but most days, especially in the cold weather, I'm going to be wearing pants. PERIOD. Besides, a woman can be very immodest in anything- skirts and dresses included.

Thanks for leaving a comment. :-)

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