Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thou Shalt Not Facebook

Must be a commandment Moses forgot to jot down. Or Jesus missed mentioning in the Beatitudes. From the New York Post:

"Thou shalt not commit adultery. And thou also shalt not use Facebook.

That's the edict from a New Jersey pastor who feels the two often go together.

The Rev. Cedric Miller said 20 couples among the 1,100 members of his Living Word Christian Fellowship Church have run into marital trouble over the last six months after a spouse connected with an ex-flame over Facebook.

Because of the problems, he is ordering about 50 married church officials to delete their accounts with the social networking site or resign from their leadership positions. He had previously asked married congregants to share their login information with their spouses and now plans to suggest that they give up Facebook altogether.

"I've been in extended counseling with couples with marital problems because of Facebook for the last year and a half," he said. "What happens is someone from yesterday surfaces, it leads to conversations and there have been physical meet-ups. The temptation is just too great."

Miller is married and has a Facebook account that he uses to keep in touch with six children, but he will heed his own advice and cancel his account this weekend.

On Sunday, he plans to "strongly suggest" that all married people to stop using Facebook, lest they endanger their marriage.

"The advice will go to the entire church," he said. "They'll hear what I'm asking of my church leadership. I won't mandate it for the entire congregation, but I hope people will follow my advice."

Miller said he has spoken from the pulpit before about the dangers of Facebook, asking married couples to give each other their passwords to the site.

"Some did. Others got scared and deleted their accounts right away. And some felt it was none of my business and continued on," he said.

Miller said he has gotten a mostly positive response so far among the leaders subject to his edict, which was first reported by the Asbury Park Press."

Um, question to the Rev: do you think adultery just became popular with the invention of social networking? Because if Moses was chiseling it was a sin into stone thousands of years ago, I'm going to go with "no."

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Micah said...

Ah, very interesting! My Facebook account's privacy settings are all set to "everyone". Oddly enough, I really don't have strangers spamming or whatever. My Facebook is literally an open book; my "private life" really isn't that big in proportion to my "public life". It just makes things a lot easier in the long run.

That's an interesting mandate by the lead pastor, and I understand where he's coming from, but if there are things kept hidden on Facebook, then he'd have to go further, I think, and talk to these couples individually to get at the heart of the issue. Facebook is, after all, just the medium.

Alisha De Freitas said...

"...but if there are things kept hidden on Facebook, then he'd have to go further, I think, and talk to these couples individually to get at the heart of the issue. Facebook is, after all, just the medium."

~AGREED! Facebook is just the medium. Even if a couple shut down their FB accounts, there is still email, internet dating sites, porn, in-person flirting... they need to get to the root of the problem, not just cut off a branch.

Anonymous said...

ok, lets start with "why do they feel the need to communicate with past loves"? how strong is the couple communication with each other? I agree 100% that Facebook is just the medium, or platform if you will, I hope these couples don't have Aim or Twitter, or Blackberry Mobile, or.....

Alisha De Freitas said...

@Joe, LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

or.... a mouth dum dum daaam.. ehh? what?.. wait?

Alisha De Freitas said...

or ears...

April Joy said...

LoL I agree with all the above.

I know some couples share an account on FB for accountability...but then like you've all mentioned, its the heart of the issue, and no set of boundaries or parameters will fix an intimacy issue in marriage.

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