Thursday, December 30, 2010

A History of Bad Boy Fails

LOL, I found this hilarious article on BVX called "Don't Sign With Diddy: A History of Bad Boy Fails" and I had to share parts of it with you all:



1. Craig Mack

Years Signed: 1994-1995, 2005

Fail Rating: 4 out of 5 Diddys



Why: Before Craig Mack was completely obscure, he had been reduced to a punchline. After the release of his gold debut album, 'Project: Funk Da World,' the only time you'd hear his name was when rappers were comparing something's ugliness to his face. Harsh. The beginning of the end of Mack's rap career came with the 'Flava in Ya Ear' remix, on which Mack was outshined by every one featured on the song (except for Rampage Da Last Boyscout).

Prior to the remix's release, Mack had a hit single with the original and was destined for stardom. But after the remix dropped, everyone forgot about Mack, thanks to a fellow named Biggie Smalls and a dancing Puff Daddy Diddy. Where's Craig Mack these days? We don't know, and sadly we doubt you care.




2. Total

Years Signed:
1995-2000

Fail Rating:
4 out of 5 Diddys


Why:
People often question the singing ability of artists like Rihanna and Cassie, but there's been a long history of R&B divas with suspect talent. Back in '95, Sean Combs introduced the trio Total and the next phase of the hip-hop/R&B movement he helped usher in with Mary J. Blige. There was Kima, the skinny, screechy one; Keisha, the sexy one with the short cut who could kinda sing; and then Pam, the tall one everyone thought was a lesbian.

Their debut single, 'Can't You See,' featuring Notorious B.I.G. was a huge urban radio hit, and the Jersey girls released a platinum self-titled debut album and were subsequently christened "The Bad Girls of R&B." Their follow-up album 'Kima, Keisha and Pam,' went gold, but then they dropped an underwhelming single, 'Sittin' Home.' And, in true Bad Boy fashion, Diddy dropped them and forgot about any of their previous successes...



8. Fuzz Bubble

Years Signed:
1997-1999

Fail Rating:
5 out of 5 Diddys



Why:
Remember when Diddy said he signed a rock band? We don't either...









13. Cassie

Years Signed:
2005-Present

Fail Rating:
1 out of 5 Diddys


Why:
Like anybody else would sign Cassie because of her "talent." She got over because of her looks and has been Diddy's side chick for years (dispute that if you really want to). Listen, when the most significant thing in your music career has nothing to do with music, you're doing okay. Who cares if she doesn't release another song? Obviously she doesn't. The picture says it best: "What the hell am I doing here?"


To read the list in its hilarious entirety, click here. I recommend it! Jay Electronica, I'm not mad at you.

2 comments:

Alan said...

lol, excellent list. Pam actually goes to Agape Family Worship Center in rahway.

Alisha De Freitas said...

Does everyone go to Agape?!? LOL!

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