Thursday, February 10, 2011

Miranda had to fake a sonogram. I think I'll be faking "it" during this pregnancy.

That's right dear readers, I'm pregnant. Unlike when I penned "First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Baby in the Baby Carriage", I'm getting big- and it's not just fat.

Now, I'll pause here so you all can do the "AWWW!".

Next, I'll answer a few of the basic questions. Yes, I am happy. Yes, so is K, even if it took him a good month to "process" this big step into the next chapter of our lives. You see, my sweet husband is much like the computers he works on tirelessly. So he, upon learning the news, said he had to "process" it, which immediately made me think of that little hourglass rotating anytime I'm waiting to download something.

But once he fully uploaded that I was pregnant, yes, he became very happy. Also, if you're curious, I'm 4 months. And no, I do not know the sex and I plan to wait.

For everyone who thinks our decision is dumb, I'll pause here to allow you time to get over it. Because, yes, I'm still going to wait to find out.

So, on to my current problem, and what the title of this entry is about. Faking "joy" every time every individual gazes at my belly and realizes that I'm pregnant. Hmmm... let me clarify that. Faking the expression of joy every time every individual gazes at my belly and realizes I'm pregnant. I do not want you, my dear reader, to believe I'm not overwhelmed with emotion right now. In fact, I have so many thoughts and feelings going through me I sometimes feel buried in them. The problem comes when I'm expected to react at any given moment with just one quick easy to read emotion- happy. Positively, ecstatically, rejoicingly happy. As if I should somehow summon up that "glow" all pregnant woman are supposed to have (I don't) at every person's beck and call... which feels like a demand. Instead, I end up looking something like this:

Yes, my mouth is spread into a smile my old cheerleading coach would be proud of, but the eyes... the eyes tell the truth. Lips, smile. Eyes, frown. Lends credence to Tyra Bank's whole "smize"- thing, doesn't it?

Today at work, a co-worker said, "Are you pregnant?" Me: "Uh, yeah." Her: "Oh my God, congratulations! How do you feel?" Me: "Like crap. You know I've been out sick all this week..." Her: "Oh, morning sickness, right?" Me: "No. I'm pass that. No, I'm on antibiotics and..." Her: "Yeah, but how do you FEEL?," said with a big beaming smile. Me: "..." Her: "Huh?" Me: "..." Her: "Okay... are you HAPPY?" Me: with forced faking it smile, "Yes!"

I'm aware that I'll be repeating this conversation, in all it's various forms, up until and including the day I participate in my own personal version of "A Baby Story".

Speaking for all of us Miranda types, who are sincerely and deeply touched by these huge moments in life- like getting married or having a baby- but don't necessarily have a Charlotte type smile and chipper response at the ready for every occasion... please give us a break. Please know, that when I first laid eyes 11 weeks ago on that blurry sonogram picture of my Baby, who we call Z, my heart melted. I fell in love. And a love that deep is often not visible on the surface. But believe me, it's there.


Alan said...

You should print out pre-typed responses, and simply hand them to everyone, that way you wont have to go through the whole conversation over and over again.

Alisha De Freitas said...

@Alan, that would be a help, but they'd still be looking for the "happy happy joy joy" face, which unfortunately, I can't just take to the Xerox and duplicate.

Emybloom said...

I'm 3 months in and seriously if someone tells me how I'm going to 'get over' morning sickness magically and be all glowy, erm really?


Alisha De Freitas said...

@Emybloom, LOL! I'm going to write a post about what not to say to pregnant women, and yes, morning sickness will be included! I was fortunate to be spared a lot of vomiting, but I had my days of nausea and spent weeks feeling gassy and ridiculously tired. What I can't stand is how some people feel all women are the same. I was told my gas could not possibly be because of my pregnancy by my hair stylist since she had three and never suffered it! >:-(

Alisha De Freitas said...

Oh, and congrats, Emy!

Alan said...

Are you getting people asking to touch your stomach yet? That's always an awkward moment. Lol

Alisha De Freitas said...

@Alan, Thankfully, no, lol. Today at work, I did have a couple people say, "But where's the belly?" I pulled back my shirt and showed it. They then said, "Oh, thats nothing!" Um, I'm four months... how am I supposed to look?

Sha Rob said...

Congraaaaaaaaaatttttts!!!! from you're newly re-committed reader!

Alisha De Freitas said...

HAHAHA!!! Thank you! :-)

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