Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Lent: Halfway Through the Journey

A pic of me taken last September at a beach by K. I was praying, holding a rosary he gave me.

So somehow, we're half way through Lent, and while K is feeling a deeper bond in his relationship with God, I'm feeling... like how did it get to halfway through Lent? Am I totally in a pregnancy fog or something?

So here's an update. On March 18th, I went out to lunch with my brother Joe, and being short on time, we went to the closest fast food joint, Burger King. Now, I'm not a huge fan of this eatery (or McDonald's for that matter), but I wanted a Mocha Joe, since well into my Second Trimester, I have regained a taste for coffee (Even though it has to sweetened and full of milk, and still not daily- what can I say, I love coffee, but Z? Not so much.). As we got to the drive through window to pay, the strangest thing happened. I caught a whiff of grilled beef and onions, and instantly, I HAD TO HAVE A WHOPPER. I've never had a craving like that, and with my stomach grumbling, I pulled over and wound up eating two Whopper Juniors. The problem (besides the fatty fast food & little nutritional value)? The 18th was a Friday, and as part of my Lenten discipline, I've been abstaining from meat on Fridays. Last year, I went the entire 40 day period without eating meat (I even spit out a bite of burrito when I realized the restaurant had given me a beef instead of a bean and went hungry), but this year, I crumbled from the scent of "Have it Your Way" burger. 

As if my failure weren't bad enough, K had actually called to remind right before lunch NOT to eat meat, and of course, he had fish (well, he tried to have it, but gave up) from our workplace cafeteria. When I confessed my slip, he responded (seriously) by saying how disappointed he was in me. After all, I was a huge motivating reason for him to stay on the Lenten straight and narrow. Ouch. I guess I could've blamed it on Baby Z, but instead I took my lumps. I messed up.
As for Facebook, my personal account is still deactivated, and I have received calls from my Uncle Curtis in California to my father-in-law in Trinidad questioning my disappearance. Most people seem to understand (although a few are actually peeved at not being able to gawk at my bulging belly through album updates... it does not appease them when I refer them to this blog because they have no interest in reading about my pregnancy). I have to admit, I've found being off Facebook very helpful to my life all around. I have had more time to read (finished a book, half way through another), have been steadily listening to Christian apologetic shows and praying much more. I'm not involved in silly e-disputes and have not been vicariously keeping up with the Kardashians via friends' links, either. Interestingly, my television watching has nosedived, too. Outside of old sitcoms saved on our computer, I haven't watched TV in weeks. Yeah, that's right. WEEKS.
I've been going to Inquiry classes at the church I've been attending, and K is going, too, and let me tell you, it's a powerful experience to be taking a religious course as a couple, even if the topics have been on The Great Schism and the Book of Common Prayer. K is loving the class more than me, which is making me so proud of him. 

But... I'm not so proud of me. With just a few weeks before the Easter Vigil, I'm feeling a bit stagnant compared to where I thought I'd be on this Lenten journey. Easter Vigil, which is on the 23rd, is the day I'm scheduled to be re-baptized. This occasion holds so much meaning, it will get a separate post from me, along with an explanation because I'm sure all 7 of you reading are like, "WHAT?!?" But for a very big hint, let's go back two years to when I started this blog and I shared my spiritual history. Read carefully, and you might be able to pick up what in my past might be cause for the unusual step of being re-baptized at 29, nearly 23 years after I did it the first time. So, at this point, I figured I'd be feeling extra, I don't know, Christiany, but instead I'm feeling as mixed as my track record for this Lent. 

How are you doing? Share how your Lenten journey is going! 


Keiron said...

First!!!!! Good read NuNu..I understand your feelings of stagnancy but I do not necessarily agree. You facilitate my growth in sometimes the most unimaginable ways. Thank you :)

Alisha De Freitas said...

Thanks, Baby. But I'm totally looking up to you right now!

Carly said...

Honestly, I'm not participating in Lent this year...and actually I'm not really sure I have ever partaken in this spiritual endeavor. Though I know this much. I don't think you have spiritually retarded your walk with the Lord because of one slip up. We all make mistakes. That is the reality of our humanity. And God still pursues, still waits, still loves. No matter our inadequacies. That's what makes Him so great. His consistency. No matter how all over the place we may become as a result of our short comings or what life may deal to us...He is steady and for that I am so grateful. :)

Alisha De Freitas said...

Hey Carly, I'm thankful that God is so much more faithful than me! You're so right about his consistency... despite my flakiness. Right after I wrote this, I got into an argument with a guy at work that left me fuming. And then laughing to myself at how quickly my "Christian" seems to disappear. It's not just The King that slips me up... lol.

A Simple Thing said...

Then again, there's good in the fact you realized your slip up and tried to make amends. A lot of people slip up and think "Well, since I've done it once already...." and it takes them a lot longer!

Alisha De Freitas said...

Hi A Simple Thing,

Thanks! Yeah, it would've been easy to just keep going with the slip up, but I knew I had to stick it out. It's been worth it. Like last Friday, I had an awesome salad for lunch (brought it BEFORE I got super hungry, lol), so I was sticking to it and eating healthy which is really what I should be doing now anyway. :-)

Thanks for commenting.

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