Friday, June 3, 2011

K, My Big Sunshine

 K and I in a 2nd anniversary photo last October.

"...he became the sun and I became the moon..." ~The Other Side of The Game by Erykah Badu


It was late one night early in our relationship when me and K discovered we both loved Sunshine, a track off Lupe Fiasco's freshman album. The lyrics are sweetly innocent:

"You're my sunshine (you're my sunshine),
You're my moonlight (you're my moonlight),
You're the starry skies above me won't you please come down and hug me..."

I love the song's dreamy feel, how Lupe references the ordinary (his Jordan sneakers) and fairy tales (fire breathing dragons). In so many ways, I feel it represents my relationship with K. We met at the most ordinary, unromantic place a couple could- work. He came to fix my always-broken computer. And that meeting was so utterly ordinary, as were many of the subsequent ones. Even our first date was going to be plenty ordinary, at least for Jersey- a meal at a local diner. When we finally agreed to go out, being an administrative assistant, I scribbled the date and time down on the most typical of office supplies- a Post It note. I laugh at that now, how Post It notes were lambasted on "Sex & The City" because Carrie was dumped via one, meanwhile my relationship with my husband began on one.

When we met up, me in skinny jeans and platform sandals, fifteen minutes late, and he, wearing jeans and sneakers and carrying a bouquet of flowers... things immediately crossed from the everyday to the magical. Over the course of a few hours, I realized I was sitting across from my Knight, sans shiny armor, but with a shiny silver Civic. With an ethereal calmness, he lit up my dreary life. If there was an orchestra in my mind, although it had long since fell mute, it suddenly came to life from the "pit" of my heart. By the time we said good night- he picked me up and twirled me around... my feet floating in the air, my world an oddly stable blur- I could feel the dragons in my life receding, their flames no longer burning. I waved goodbye, smiling as my Sunshine drove off in the moonlight.

Amy Winehouse sings, in Tears Dry on Their Own, "He walks away, The sun goes down, He takes the day..." and that's how I felt as I walked in to my apartment alone that night. I felt so very dim and lonely. I hadn't realized how dark my world was until light had been shone on it. My apologies to Joni Mitchell, but sometimes, you don't know what you don't have until it's gone. Three weeks later, I knew I would marry him. I never wanted him gone again.

K says I'm his sunshine. But I know our roles in the song and in life. He's sunshine, and I'm moonlight. When things are dark, I know that the light I give off is a reflection of him.

Three years ago, on the first Friday in June, around this time, I was sitting at a booth in the Tropicana Diner, enjoying a first meal with the quiet, extra-ordinary guy who hailed from a tropical island. Now I'm his wife, carrying the little Sunshine he's given me. And ever so thankful for all the light.


Keiron said...

You know I had heard and told this story countless time. But reading it.. I don't know what to say... A-K-Z!

Alisha De Freitas said...

@K, yeah... sometimes it's just so nice to relive it. It can be new again. :-)

Oldine said...

This is so beautiful...magical even =] I apologize in advance if you already answered this, but I am a new follower of your blog...Was he already a Christian when you guys met?
Was it an issue at all to wait until marriage?
(As a college student, I've met only one guy who didn't have an issue waiting...I'm a senior)

Alisha De Freitas said...

@Oldine, no apologies are necessary.I started this blog six months after we married, so I haven't really written too much about our courtship period. K was a €hristian when we got together, although not a member of a church (he was visiting one regularly).

He didn't have a problem with waiting until we were married. Before the diner trip, he knew where I stood and respected it. i know it might seem impossible, but there are guys out there who will wait. They are rare, but do exist! Thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate it!

Oldine said...

Cool, Cool and I love your blog =] Has a little bit of everything I love.

Alisha De Freitas said...

Thank you! I sometimes feel like its a bit too discombobulated... Im hoping to make some improvements while Im on maternity leave.

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