Thursday, June 7, 2012

In The Shadows of Silence: The Search Continues



Last week I wrote of searching for silence. I figured I'd start slow, a few minutes a day. So, how did it go?

I wrote my friend David via email an update:

 "... I got up (at 5:30AM- i can't really be alone any other time) and... well, I can't silence my mind. Not yet. So I figured I'd focus it. I used my Anglican prayer beads... and prayed this prayer and spent the first time around battling my wandering, chattering mind. Seems even when I shut off external noise, my internal ones are blaring loudly. By the end, I felt I had a small victory. :-)"

Funny when I wrote the original post, I hadn't counted on my own whacky head being the loudest device in the house (louder than Baby Z!). So I started off okay, but by the end of the week (yes, after a couple of days), things  went downhill after I posted on paid maternity leave on Facebook. It turned into a mini-war, with over thirty comments (interestingly, I didn't write the most, either, but two childless guys did). I wound up sitting in a local cafe later that morning in a seriously funky mood. K was there (a real rarity as much as he works) and a well-behaved Z, but all I could think of was that stupid, ultimately inconsequential thread on Facebook. I tried to shake it out of my head, but the angry thoughts kept replaying, far louder than Z's giggles and the old Rolling Stones songs being piped over the speakers at Rock N Joe's.

Pathetic.

I had a pleasant Facebook exchange with Breath of Life Daily blogger April which got me focused on my thought life last week, too. I connected how essential it would be for me to think on Godly things- peace, love, joy, faith and such- if I am ever to step away from the shadows of silence and into it's sweet light.

So I stepped away from Facebook. I'm still kind of around, posting stuff for my church and on FAR's fanpage, but I've made a concerted effort to keep my presence there to a minimum. During Lent, I stayed off, too, and found it to be beneficial. I wish I could be like my bestie Gi Gi (David's wife) and go on casually. But nope, much like I do not have the discipline to work out like her, I have to be drastic with mine. Which reminds me, I should probably do some exercising...

Anyway, heard this on Pandora, this morning, and fell in love. Enjoy!


1 comments:

Don said...

Pretty sure you didn't intend this blog to be humorous, yet I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of how Facebook can be and your noted sense of humor.

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